When you get married, you probably never think that someday, you will be filing for divorce. While the oft-quoted statistic that 50% of marriages will end in divorce isn’t true, the reality is that many marriages do break down over time. If you find yourself thinking about divorce, you might wonder what you can do to prepare for it.

As experienced Austin divorce attorneys, we know that the process is always hard, but spending some time preparing in advance can help. This includes everything from taking a financial inventory to setting aside cash for living expenses to changing passwords on your various accounts. It’s also important to figure out a plan for emotional support, because even an amicable divorce can be stressful.

At the Law Office of Jason Wright, we advocate for individuals and families in a range of Texas family law matters, including divorce. We take a strategic approach to divorce, focusing on our clients’ priorities and how to best achieve them. If you are considering a divorce, reach out to our law firm today to schedule a consultation with an Austin family lawyer.

What You Should Consider Before Filing for Divorce in Texas

In some cases, the decision to get a divorce happens suddenly – perhaps after you discover that your spouse has been cheating or that they gambled away your retirement fund. In many situations, however, you slowly realize over time that you cannot live with your spouse anymore. Whether you are fighting constantly or just aren’t in love anymore, it might take you months or even years to make the ultimate decision to get a divorce.

If you have been thinking about divorce for a while, you have the opportunity to plan ahead a bit. While you can’t control every aspect of your divorce, being strategic about it can help you achieve a better outcome. Below, we have listed some things that you should consider before filing for divorce.

Timing

If you are contemplating divorce, there is a good chance that you aren’t in the best place with your spouse. It may be possible that you have simply grown apart and are living more as friends than as romantic partners. In other situations, there may be real acrimony between you and your spouse.

When it comes to telling your spouse that you want a divorce, timing is everything. If you threaten divorce out of anger – or spill the proverbial beans too early – you don’t know how they will react. They might start moving assets, scheduling consultations with many different attorneys so that you can’t hire them yourself, or positioning themselves for an advantage with child custody.

While you might be tempted to tell your spouse that you are preparing for a divorce, the better option from a legal and strategic standpoint is to wait until you are ready to file. That doesn’t mean that the first time that they learn about it is when they are served with divorce papers. It simply means that you don’t reveal your plans until you have had time to think it through and prepare yourself for the divorce.

Your Financial Situation 

Before filing for divorce, it is critical that you have a full understanding of your finances. You should take the time to document all of your assets, debts, income, and expenses. This will include gathering paperwork like tax returns, bank statements, life insurance policies, mortgage documents, car titles, credit card statements, family trust documents, and retirement account statements. This will help you have a full picture of your financial situation, which will play a key role in divorce proceedings when it comes to things like property division, spousal support, and child support obligations. 

How You Will Pay for the Divorce

Divorce can be expensive. Depending on the type of divorce you get, it might take anywhere from several months to more than a year to finalize a divorce. When you are paying an Austin divorce lawyer, the legal fees can mount over time, particularly if you anticipate a complex divorce.

Texas is a community property state, which means that any property or assets acquired during the marriage are presumed to belong to both spouses equally (unless one spouse can prove that it is separate property). As such, it is probably an option to use community funds, such as a joint credit card or joint bank account, to pay legal fees for a divorce. If you are contemplating using community funds to pay for your divorce expenses, you should talk to an Austin divorce attorney to understand your rights and options when it comes to this money.

Money for Living Expenses

As a general rule, it is always a good idea to have money set aside for several months of living expenses. This is also true when it comes to getting divorced.

It isn’t always easy to predict how your soon-to-be ex will react when you file for divorce. Even a person who has always been kind and loving may turn spiteful if they feel like you blindsided them or if they simply don’t want a divorce. They might cut off your access to accounts or even waste money so that you can’t get to it.

While these issues can be addressed through the divorce process, you might be left without a lot of financial resources until that happens. Your Austin divorce lawyer may be able to request temporary spousal maintenance, but until that is decided, you will need money for your basic living expenses. Having money set aside can give you a cushion. You should also make sure that you have your own access to credit if you currently don’t have your own credit card or only have joint cards.

How You Will Co-Parent

If you share minor children with your spouse, then child custody and support will be an issue in your divorce. Before filing for divorce, you should think about what that will look like.  What do you want when it comes to child custody? Will your spouse fight for primary custody? Will you be able to co-parent together effectively? Are there any major issues related to the kids that might come up in a divorce (like vaccines, religion, or education)?

You should also think about how you will tell your kids about the divorce, and a strategy for how you will parent them through this time. Involving the kids in any type of divorce battle, talking badly about their other parent, or asking them to take sides can all cause a lot of emotional harm. While divorce can be stressful for parents, it is important for you to think about how you can handle it in a way that protects your kids.

At the same time, you should be careful to not do anything that could jeopardize custody of your kids until you’ve spoken to a family law attorney (like moving out or letting your spouse handle everything related to the kids.) These types of things could work against you when it comes to child custody, so make sure that you know things like who your kids’ doctors are and continue to be an active, involved parent.

Choosing an Attorney

While it is possible to represent yourself in a divorce, that usually isn’t advisable unless you have an incredibly simple divorce (i.e., no minor children and no joint assets or debts). An Austin family law attorney will have the necessary experience to guide you through the process. They also understand how local judges tend to rule in divorce cases and how that might impact your case.

An experienced lawyer will listen to you and get to know your goals for a divorce. They will then offer strategic advice, including various options for how to resolve your divorce (such as contested versus uncontested divorce, fault vs. no-fault divorce, and mediation or collaborative divorce). They can help you negotiate an agreement with your soon-to-be-ex and their attorney. They can also represent you in court.

Your choice of lawyer will affect many aspects of your case. Take your time to interview a few different attorneys, looking for someone who matches your style and understands your priorities. A “shark” of an attorney might be the right choice for some divorces, but if your goal is to resolve your divorce amicably, then they might not be the right fit for you. 

Safety Planning

If you are in an abusive marriage, then it is important to have a safety plan in place. Statistics show that violence can often escalate when a person tries to leave an abusive partner, so it is smart to consider what you can do to keep yourself and your kids safe. At the same time, allegations of domestic violence shouldn’t be used as a weapon – the focus should be on protecting yourself, not trying to gain an edge in a divorce.

Even if your marriage is not abusive, it is still a good idea to think about protecting your personal information. Many spouses share passwords to things like bank accounts and social media, or even their phone passwords. Even if you don’t think that your partner will log into your cloud account to read your texts, it is better to be safe than sorry. Take some time to go through your accounts and change your passwords, and think about any accounts that may automatically sync (such as to an iPad that is connected to your Apple ID). 

Emotional Support

Even when you are the one who initiates a divorce, it can still be really difficult emotionally. Divorce is a major stressor, even when it is something that both parties want. Setting up a support system now can help you learn how to cope with the dissolution of your marriage, which may help you handle the ups and downs of the legal process better.

For many people, finding a good therapist is critical to getting through a divorce. You should also surround yourself with supportive friends and family. They can help you learn how to deal with your emotions and simply be an outlet for you.

Therapy and counseling can also be a good way to learn strategies for being civil to your ex. For example, if your partner is a narcissist, your therapist might be able to teach you strategies like “gray rocking” to not feed into their emotional manipulations. This can help you keep your divorce low-conflict by not adding fuel to the fire and focusing on what is important to you with the divorce.

Contemplating Divorce? Call Our Law Firm First.

It isn’t realistic to plan for everything that may happen during a divorce, but you can take steps to protect yourself and your family. Something as simple as putting aside a few months of living expenses can make a real difference when you are knee-deep in the divorce process. Our Austin divorce lawyers can help you develop a plan for your divorce – and then execute it. 

The Law Office of Jason Wright offers high-quality legal representation to individuals throughout the greater Austin area. We understand that divorce is never easy, but our goal is to help make the process as straightforward as possible for our clients. Contact our law firm today at 512-706-9662 or fill out our online contact form to talk to an Austin divorce attorney about your case.